


In Numbers

by ilvyshirayuki



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Adventure, Akuze, Alliance, Asari - Freeform, Batarians, Cerberus - Freeform, Citidal, Enemies, F/F, F/M, Fantasy, Fem Shep - Freeform, Future, Geth, Humans, Krogan, Love, M/M, ME - Freeform, ME1, ME2, ME3, Mass Effect - Freeform, Mass Effect Trilogy - Freeform, Military, Multi, Mystery, N7, Other, Protheans - Freeform, Quarians, Rachni, Reapers, Romance, SSV Normandy, Salarians, Shenko - Freeform, Sole Survivor, The Collectors - Freeform, The Council - Freeform, Thresher Maws, Turians, Vanguard - Freeform, biotic, some canon divergence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-10-08
Packaged: 2018-07-15 18:20:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7233553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilvyshirayuki/pseuds/ilvyshirayuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>6 months after being grounded and having my rank stripped, the Reapers have some nerve invading the wrong soldier's home world.<br/>I'm going to get Earth back, I'm going to destroy these goddamned machines, and I'm going to kick Cerberus in the ass. I'm going to set things right, in the galaxy, with the Council, with all of the species, with Kaidan.<br/>-<br/>Paragon, spacer, sole survivor, Shenko romance.<br/>-<br/>Copyrights to Bioware, I own none of the ME universe.<br/>Also supporting the Indoctrination theory.<br/>I'll be intricating my take of the story throughout the game play of Mass Effect 3 and expanding a bit after it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Invasion

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy my take on the perspective of my Shepard, I follow the story line and dialogue as a base. I want to make it my own in a way, but Bioware owns the story and assets.  
> Happy reading!

 

Sunlight glints off the toy shuttle as it spins in circles, small hands wrapped around the body of the model. The boy runs in circles in an area of sectioned off grass, looking up at the toy shuttle in his hand with imagination and a smile. The corners of my lips tug up my face and bunch my cheeks. I breathe in the dank air in my room and rub my arm as I hear the bulkhead squeal open behind me and footsteps follow.

"Commander." A stern voice speaks. 

I turn to see a brawny man saluting me with a hard expression and rigid frame. "James. I'm not a Commander anymore," I say solemnly as I trace my fore finger along the edges of my data pad. I glance at the tattoo protruding out of the collar of his shirt and the scar dragging down the side of his chin below his lips. _I haven't been of rank for 6 months since I was grounded and stripped of it, plus I've been watched closely enough for the Alliance to know what color my piss is. Cerberus has gone quiet, I never liked them, like everyone else. They've gone rogue and dark, the Illusive Man talked about controlling the Reapers. After I destroyed the Collector base, I didn't have any contact with him or anyone else._

He drops his hand and offers a smirk. "And I'm not supposed to salute you. Any way, Defense Committee wants to see you, let's go." 

I give him a confused look and nod. "Right behind you."  _If Earth's in trouble..._ I set down the data pad on a side table with a clattering ping and walk quickly to catch up with James as he's already feet away. "Why do they want to see me?"

James give me a short side eye and shrugs. "Dunno, said they needed you ASAP."

My eyebrows knit together and I clench my jaw, looking ahead of us only to see Anderson, and slow down a bit as James calls out his name.

"Admiral." I hold out my hand as Anderson reaches for it, grasping it firmly while his eyes wrinkles at the corners in hint of a smile. 

"It's good to see you, Shepard. Definitely laid off the PT." He cracks a joke and pats my stomach. I snicker and touch where he patted. We walk in a rush, leaving James slightly behind us. "How have you been since being relieved?"

"Not bad when you get used to the real food and fluffy beds." 

"We'll figure it out." Anderson replies dryly.

My eyes follow a woman rushing past me. "Why's everyone in a such a hurry? What's happening, Anderson?"

His brown eyes glance at my face. "Admiral Hackett's pulling the fleets together, something's coming, Shepard. Something big."

The chatter in the halls and pattering of feet is drowned out as his words sing into my mind. "No." I stop at the foot of a flight of stairs that Anderson is climbing. "The Reapers..."  _The Reapers have destroyed so much already, with the Collectors, with their indoctrinated._

Anderson stops abruptly and turns. "We don't know, Shepard."

I purse my lips and inhale sharply, clenching my fists, nails digging into my palms. "You know just well as I do what's happening now. There's nothing else it could be... We haven't prepared enough, Anderson." A hint of fear squeaks my voice.

The Admiral closes his eyes and sighs, "Tell that to the Committee." He turns and I start up the stairs with him, avoiding the oncoming traffic walking past me. 

I tuck strands of loose hair behind my ear and breathe out as my chest wells with anger. "Unless we're going to defeat the Reapers by having a conference with them, to hell with the Committee. They won't do anything."

Anderson sighs again. "Shepard, humanity is scared. They haven't seen what you've seen, they don't understand what to expect." We both glance at people passing us and back to each other multiple times as he speaks. "All of your reports, the data collected, it's just theory to all of us. Hell, I believe you but I can't represent the facts that seem like a scary story to everyone else. But you've been in line of sight of these bastards, you know what they can do."

"So that's why they grounded me? Took away my ship?"

Anderson turns on me, pointing a finger with a disapproving look. "You know that's not the reason. The shit you pulled, any other soldier would've been tried, court-marshaled and discharged. You're only lucky because of your knowledge of the Reapers."  _Yeah, Cerberus gave me a hell of a lucky break._

I scoff, shaking my head, gazing past him, and run my tongue along the bottom of my top lip. "That and your good word?" I ask mockingly, looking him in the eye.

His body relaxes, "Damn right. I trust you, Shepard. And so does the committee."

I throw up my hands in exasperation. "I'm just a soldier, Anderson. Not a politician."

He exhales in irritation and walks ahead of me. I follow and he says, "I don't need you to be either, just do whatever the hell you can do to help stop the Reapers."

A bulkhead slides out of our way and a red haired woman in the same Alliance officer gear as Anderson without the ranks greets us, data pad in hand. "They're ready for you." Anderson and I search each other's eyes to look for hope and nod, following the woman.

"Good luck in there, Shepard." James wishes. I spin around and smile at him, taking his hand in mine firmly and shaking. 

"Thanks, Vega." 

He nods and lets go of my hand. "Shit, Commander, did Anderson tell you what's up?"

I take a deep breath, "Yeah, something's-"

"Nova?" The smoky voice catches me in the moment. I whirl around, but it feels like something in a vid, the slow motion effect. _He's there, 10 or 15 feet from me, my breath catches in my chest. I meet his brown eyes, the eyes like sunlight shining through a glass of bourbon, but soft and sad. His pompous and dark hair stroked with silver strands perfectly lain atop his head._ "Kaidan?" I turn from James and amble towards him, heart beginning to accelerate. 

"How'd it go, Major?" Anderson questions.

I slow down to halt and study Kaidan's nervous body language as he responds. "Okay, I think. Didn't go horribly, waiting to hear an order."

I furrow my brow. "Major?"

Kaidan glances at me uncomfortably at the sound of his rank. Anderson looks at me concernedly. "You didn't hear?"

I shake my head. "I'm a bit out of the loop these days." _I'm so angry because of Horizon, because he doesn't trust me, because my actions made him want to steer clear of me. But I can't be angry, I'm more nervous about seeing him, so close to me. Damn, I feel like puking. It's my fault and I wanna punch him in the face. I don't want to pay attention to him and yet I wanna fix us so badly._

Kaidan straightens up, clearing away any sign of emotion stirred by my presence. "Sorry, ma'am. Didn't mean to keep you out of the loop."

I blink rapidly in surprise and somewhat take offense to his formality, then immediately fix my posture and the muscles in my face. "It's fine, Major. I'm sure you had your reasons."

He breaks formality a bit and gives me a half smile. I miss that dopey smile.. _. Ugh, focus, Shepard. You're still pissed at him and you got work to do._  In a softer voice, he utters, "Yeah, I guess I did. It's... still it's good to see you, Nova."

My heart flutters and I'm about to answer, but the same red head calls Anderson and the Admiral follows her. I stand in a daze for a second and move after Anderson, staring at Kaidan as I walk closely by him. He gives me a small but warm smile, causing me to stare as I walk past. The sharp smell of his cologne and aftershave invade my nose and nostalgia wells in my chest; I bite my lip in order to keep my smile from getting too wide and I look down at the ground as warmth reaches my face.  _I remember that smell, mingling in his skin. 3 years ago._

Before I quicken my pace, I hear James behind me ask Kaidan, "You know the Commander?"

His husky voice relays, "Uh, I used to, I guess." 

My smile drops.

_Used to._

* * *

 

I slowly approach the Committee with Anderson at my side as they greet us. I've met with these particular people a few times, though I've never become best buds with them.

"What's going on?" I demand in a guttural tone and take a few steps more towards the council.

A bald man in the middle with an aged face says with a thin London accent, "We were hoping you'd tell us, Shepard." While a serviceman hands me a data pad, the woman on the right of the bald man with a worried expression begins, "The reports coming in are unusual, unlike anything we've seen. Entire colonies have gone dark, no one past the Sol Relay can be contacted." I read over a Lieutenant's report of lost contact on the data pad's screen.  _We already know what this is..._

The bald man speaks again, scrunching his face into a visage of concern. "This is something incomprehensibly powerful, whatever it is."

I let my hand with the data pad between my fingers fall to my side and I cock my hip to the side. "You've brought me here for a second opinion? We all know what this is. The Reapers are here." 

I shift on my feet as everyone in the room turns to look at me with shock in their eyes. _Why must I have all the answers, the Alliance doesn't even trust me. No one should._ The council looks among one another and the woman takes in a deep breath and looks back, her silver streaked hair shining in the light. "How... How do we stop them?" Her voice is coated in fear and desperate.

I close my eyes and shake my head, bringing my empty hand to my face and wipe my eyes. Opening them, I state firmly, "There's no strategy here, no tactics we can use. This is about survival, we've got to work together to get this under control. The Reapers are more intelligent, more advanced, and more deadly than us. They don't care, they feel nothing, they will not give us an out or a chance. They have no reason to be afraid or wary of us."

The woman committee member seems as though my words wounded her gravely, her back is slouched, her wrinkles press together and are even more defined, her brows were turned so much upward they almost look vertical on her forehead. "What...What are we to do, Shepard?"

Officers and soldiers close in around Anderson and me in a circle, crossing their arms, scratching the backs of their heads, and fingering their data pads to express nerves. I look from side to side and at Anderson for a split second. "To have any chance of coming out of the top of this, we need to cooperate and take each other into arms."

The bald man slams his hands on the desk, "That's the plan? What the hell?"

Anderson seems to size up the room to speak, but the red head that escorted us in interrupted, "Admiral, we've lost contact with Luna Base." The Admiral says, "The moon? They can't be that close already."

A film of panic lays across the room as murmurs fills the empty air.

The woman gasps and asks herself, "How could they get past our defenses?"

A big screen lights up behind us as the red head announces, "UK Headquarters has got visuals." A soldier appears in a grainy form and immediately an explosion erupts, spraying dust and soot everywhere before the signal cuts out. Then multiple windows pop up with vids of destruction and soldiers and ships just as Sovereign was; Reapers. 

The committee stands in a flurry of fear as Anderson demands the whereabouts of Admiral Hackett and telecommunications. The bald man raises his voice, "What do we do?"

I pivot my body towards them and point to the screen behind me. "The only thing we can do at this moment is fight or die." My words make the Committee's body slump in hopelessness. Anderson faces towards me from my side with a solemn look. He opens his mouth to speak, "We should get to the Normandy..." His shoulders appear raised, tensed in his uniform's shoulder pads.

Suddenly the light coming through the window darkens, a rumbling starts to shake the ground beneath us.  _Shit._ An adrenaline I haven't felt in months rises throughout my body, raising the hair on my arms and the back of my neck. Everyone's heads and bodies turn to look out to the city. A red lightning crackles in the clouds and huge black arms plunge from the dark puffs, a beam followed by a high rumbling tone erupts from the Reaper and it sweeps through buildings like a knife through butter. I step back cautiously, horrified as the beam sweeps towards this building. The woman of the council whispers, "Oh my god..."

"Move!" I shout over the increasing volume of the hum of the beam. I scramble backwards, my fist accidentally slamming into Anderson's shoulder as I mean to push him back. "Go, go, GO!" We begin running for the door, the hum drowning out the footfalls. The room brightens with the red light of the beam, a crash trembles the floor and the support beams of the walls screech in agony. Glass shatters and jagged flakes project themselves through the air from behind us. The council's table bounces over our heads and slams against the door out. I jump over a fallen chair, landing on one knee and one foot. I jerk my head upward to meet the blinding light, just to have it penetrate the floor so powerfully near me that I lurch back. I fly across the room, grabbing at the air and my eyes grow wide. My body collides with a metal sheet of wall and my head cracks back against it and I fall down to the floor onto my back. I squeeze my eyes shut in pain, sounds are muffled, my chest feels crushed with the sudden exhale, my body is numb and at the same time aware of so much aching pain. My face feels like it's been cut open and I have an immediate headache where my head hit the wall. I groan and blink a few times to the sound of my name. 

"Shepard!" 

I lift my head slowly, bringing my hand to the most painful part and gasp in a wheezy breath as I attempt to get up. I hear my name again and take in another breath, sitting up with an elbow on the ground as support. I see Anderson jogging towards me, not a scratch on him. I take in the damage in the room, fire illuminates the wreckage and licks the walls with its flickering shadows. "Come on. Get up." Anderson takes my hand and pulls me up to my feet with ease, causing me to wince from a head rush.  _What the fuck, man._

"We've got to go, take this." He hands me a Predator pistol and I nod slowly as confirmation. Turning, he quickens away from me. "This is Admiral Anderson, does anyone copy?" I follow quickly, shaking off my aches and setting my eyes upon the bald committee man. I immediately kneel down next to him and turn his body over, checking his vitals while my own heart is fucking racing. I sigh as I feel nothing. "Major Alenko, is that you? What's your status?" I perk up and listen intently, leaving the committee man's body and continue to follow Anderson. "I can't raise the Normandy, you'll have to contact them..."

My breath catches in my throat as I see Reapers standing tall above skyscrapers, their beams turning on and off, destroying everything in their path.  _Earth, my home world, falling in front of me by the stomping of massive machines miles taller than I am.._

"...Anderson out."

"What?" I ask, dazed and focusing on my breathing, trying to ignore the pounding on my head.

"We'll meet them the landing zone. Are you alright, Nova?" Anderson finally has some emotion in his voice. 

I snort, "Yeah, peachy."

He raises an eyebrow. "We're gonna get through this, we've just got to get to the Normandy first, understood?"

"Yessir." We venture past the broken window and my eyes wander to the Reapers again, their hums signal a hundred deaths. My chest falls heavy with guilt and fear. "This is bullshit." I look at Anderson and he nods. We jump down from the roof top and onto a large maintenance shaft. 

"They're massive." Anderson comments. I clench my jaw and grip my pistol. After no response from me, he says, "Come on, Kaidan's headed to the Normandy. They'll pick us up if we meet them at the spaceport."

I point my gun in front of me and we move one foot after the other. We reach a corner and a Reaper laser hums feet from us, causing the beam we stand on to shake. "Watch out!" My foot slips and my right knee slams into a metal grate, shooting darts of stinging pain up and down my leg. I call out in pain as the hum stops and then push myself up, breathing shakily. Anderson didn't wait for me.  _What the fuck. No, Nova, you can't get mad at him, he's scared, he didn't hear me yell._  I take a step forward and wince at the pressure. My body is screaming in agony, the wind is wiping at the bleeding cut on my face, the back of my head is making me woozy.  _Pull yourself together, you have to go to the Normandy. Get... Get to Kaidan._ I shiver off the stabbing edge and hurry to Anderson as we approach a gap in the grate walkway. 

"Get a running start, it's farther than it looks." He commands, running towards the burning break in the walkway.  _Fuck, my knee._ I groan and begin running towards the edge, jumping at the last second. I land on my feet with an excruciating force causing me to call out again. "Shepard?" I squeeze my eyes shut and clutch my thigh. 

"I'm fine." I say as I suck in a breath through my teeth. I stand straight and meet Anderson's eyes full of concern, nodding. He gives me a "that's bullshit" look but nods back and continues on to a edge of the grated platform. He jumps down and disappears. Goddammit. I roll my eyes and jump down as well, landing more on my left leg without discomfort. I adjust my grip on the pistol, my palm sweating against the carbon fiber on the grip.  _Okay, a ladder? That's really not fair._ I quickly limp to the ladder and pull myself up with my upper body rather than my legs. Anderson helps pull me up and we begin running to a sheet metal duct, taking cover. 

"All clear, let's go." We hop over the duct and run down to another maintenance shaft, pistols readied in front of us. "Major? Are you reading me? I'm going to patch in Shepard."

"Oh, n-"

" _We're almost to the Normandy. Lieutenant Vega is with me, but we're taking heavy fire._ " Kaidan's voice crackles through the comm ear piece. I groan as Anderson replies. "We're five minutes out." The comm piece cuts out. "Damn it! Come on, let's move." 

I look at a building a bit aways and spot the kid that I saw just 10 minutes earlier running into it, the one with the toy shuttle. _What..._  We get down to the building and husks appear from the rails, planting their feet and chasing towards us sloppily. Anderson and I raise our Predators and begin shooting the corpses. Trigger pull after trigger pull, recoil after recoil, the waves of husks eventually stopped. I check my magazine to find it empty as I see a Reaper out of the corner of my eye a few miles away. The hum follows the red light as it sweeps across the city and towards the building. 

"Shit! Move!" I scream at Anderson and he ducks behind another duct. The beam slams into the building, blowing me into the air as glass shatters and flies past me. My back collides with the duct, denting the side of it. I moan and look at my arm. A shard of glass must have sliced through my forearm, blood rushes out of the cut. 

"Shepard?" Anderson asks. 

"Fine. A kid went in there." I struggle to my feet and spit dust from my mouth, wiping my face with the back of my hand. I enter the building; the ceiling has collapsed in and shards of glass crunch under our feet. I stop in front of a bulkhead with a damaged access panel hologram. "Crap." Then the door creaks open and a husk tries to push itself through the door and claws at me. "Oh shit!" I jump back in surprise and growl out of embarrassment for getting scared, biotic energy floods my body and I Slam the husk from out of the doorway. The blue electricity trickles from down my shoulder to my fingertips and then dissipates; the amount of force I used gave another edge to the throbbing pain in the back of my head.  _Goddamn, I haven't used my biotics in ages, funny for an Adept._  I step forward, stuffing the pistol in the belt of my pants and pull the bulkhead apart and push my back against one of the dividers and my palms against the other. I lock my elbows, making a manhole for Anderson. "Here." 

He nods and climbs through the opening. "Don't think the kid made it, Shepard." I sigh and then I notice ash dusts his uniform as well as the shoulder pad is ripped. As I'm about to go through myself, I hear banging on metal. I quiet my breathing and let go of the doors, looking around and seeing the boy I saw playing with the toy shuttle. As soon as I spot him, he scoots back into the air duct. I hurry to the opening and kneel down carefully, "Hey. It's gonna be okay." The kid flashes me wild eyes, shaking his head slightly and adjusting the sleeve of his sweater. The building shakes and I glance behind me to see a Reaper stomping by. I look back at the boy quickly, holding out my hand. "Come on, I can get you out of here safely. Take my hand."

He backs away even more, "You can't help me."

My hand drops, woe filling my chest and then Anderson calls my name. I peer at him and then turn my head back to find an empty duct.  _Shit._  I stand up slowly and follow Anderson through the doors. We're greeting by dark only illuminated by fire of debris that Anderson begins moving.

"Thousands of people are dying every minute these Machines are here. I won't be responsible." He grunts as he pushes a piece of metal out of the way.

"I get it, David. I do." I utter softly. "War's difficult enough, but knowing you can't save everyone like you do in your fantasies... that's worse."

Anderson ducks under a beam and I follow in his footsteps. "Exactly," he exhales. He lifts a beam up for me and I crawl under. "They hit so fast, I was sure we'd have more time to prepare."

I stand up at the other end and hold a beam up for him. "We knew they were coming. Just not when."

He comes up. "Yet they still cut through our defenses like butter."

I put on a hard look. "No one believed us, it takes more than a squad of people to protect entire planets and the galaxy from an invasion of an incredibly advanced species, not species, but whatever y'know."

He _hmph_ s. "We have to get to the Citadel." He kneels next to a tangle of debris. "Talk to the Council."

I award him a disgusted look. "What the fuck is that gonna do?" I spit. "The Reaper's are invading Earth as we speak, every country, thousands of people are dying."

Anderson shakes his head. "Soon the fight will be everywhere. You said it yourself, the Reapers will destroy everything unless we stop them." He starts through the maze of metal. "The Council has to help us." I glide past a piece of jutting metal and weave between the maze. 

I gift a laugh, hearing it echo around me. "Are you sure, Admiral?" 

We both gaze at a narrow edge overlooking a gaping pit. I begin to sidestep on the ledge, carefully keeping my heels farthest from the drop off. My eyes dart from my feet to the end of this killer walkway.

"Eh." Anderson shrugs, sucking in a breath as he somewhat slips. I catch his arm and he nods to me. "No, I'm not certain, but you being a council Spectre, that's gotta count for something."A loud hum goes off and the building shakes, causing me to lose my balance and fall forward, my arms flailing in front of me. "Gotcha." Anderson's rough hand grabs my shirt and pulls me up.

"Shit, thanks. I owe you one." I exhale forcefully in exasperation. 

"More than one. Nova, your arm." Anderson realizes. I jump off of the ledge onto a firm floor, drawing my gun from my belt.

"It's fine, Anderson."

He lands next to be and gives me "That's bullshit." look again. "It's deep, Shepard."

"And fine." I place a faux smile on my face. He just raises an eyebrow and moves along. As I spot an ammo cartridge among shredded garbage, Anderson tells me to grab it. I bend down and clasp it, popping it into the magazine chamber. 

My eyes analyze the room, glazing over the garbage and the broken, whistling window. I gape at the missing ceiling to see a Reaper in the distance. _So_ _damn tall._  

"Let's go." We jump down into a patch of plants and run down the side of the building. A Reaper beam penetrates a platform in the distant bay and causes a vibrating explosion. Then the Reaper touches down into the water. "Whoa." Anderson comments, then his assertive tone voices, "Major Alenko, we're in sight of the space port. ETA: 3 minutes."

" _We got to the Normandy. Still taking heavy fire. Oh, god!_ " Kaidan's voice fills with panic.  _Oh, no._ " _They're gonna take down that dreadnought! Evasive maneuvers._ "

"Major?" Anderson demands.

"Kaidan!" I yell into my comm piece.

"They're in trouble, Shepard."

_Shit, we've gotta be faster. Hang in there._

I quicken my pace, but a bright light flashes in the sky before the sound of the explosion of the dreadnought comes. Something flies into the already destroyed spaceport and shatters the support it has, creating an avalanche of debris. Before I realize it, I'm sliding down the collapsing floor and I tumble over and land on my stomach. I groan quietly and push myself up to my feet weekly. "Fuck. You okay, Anderson?"

He's already ahead of me. "Just banged up. Let's hurry. Are you?" 

I wince as I touch my bloodied face and nod.

* * *

 

We encountered a couple of friendlies and took out some humanoid Reaper forces.  _Anderson and I just lifted a big ass piece of metal; I'm tired of calling things beams, there's so many fucking beams. They looked like indoctrinated creatures, a few like Turians or Krogans..._ upgraded _like Saren._ I used my biotics again, out of adrenaline and now I'm regretting it. Now we're trying to find a radio in the friendlies' gunship. We hurry towards the wreckage and I spot an M-8 rifle lying on the ground.  _Jackpot._ I bend down and tangle my fingers in the trigger guard, around the grip and hand guard, finally pushing the shoulder stock into the front of my shoulder and armpit, feeling the heavier weight in my arms.  _Ah, beauty._  

"Found the radio!" Anderson jogs towards the clunky radio and powers up the interface. I stand around, my eyes darting around attentively, and hold the rifle at the ready. "Normandy, this is Anderson. Do you read?" 

Kaidan's hoarse voice transmits through. " _Admiral, where are you?_ "  _Oh, thank god._

"By a downed gunship in the harbor, I'm activating a distress beacon. Also, send support. We've got a casualty, wounded." White noise sounds from the radio. "Major? Damn it, I lost the signal." He stands up, grumbling. 

"Let's hope the beacon is still transmitting." I say, adjusting my grip on the rifle.

"And fast, we've got company." I follow his finger to where he's pointing. Red meteors rain diagonally down to the ground and land feet away from us, exposing more Reaper ground forces. 

"Shit." I turn around and my back crashes into a block of cement and my finger strokes the trigger. I poke my head to see the ugly bulky Reaper soldiers and aim the rifle, bursts of Warp ammo penetrating the enemies' shields. After two drop to the ground, I turn back and check the magazine. _26 shots_. I peek over the cement block and will the biotic energy within my body to my fingertips and Throw a standing enemy off its feet, smirking as it didn't budge.

"Hope they find us." Anderson yells over gun fire.

"Me too, Admiral!" I return loudly. Adrenaline makes the blood rush in my ears and gun fire blazes deafeningly. Vibrations flow through my chest as I shoot down more hostiles. I Lift a target, depleting more energy from my overworked body, and Anderson guns it down quickly. 

As soon as all the Reaper ground forces are decimated, Anderson and I retreat to the radio to hear Joker quip, "The Cavalry has arrived!" We shift our gazes to the sky, seeing the Normandy fly towards the edge of the harbor dock. 

"Come on." I sprint toward the Normandy despite the pain radiating up my leg; I jump over a chunk of debris and run up a slanted runway as the cargo bay hatch opens. My breath falls heavy and my vision starts to blur, but I kick off of the edge of the runway slab and slam down on the cargo bay door. A calloused hand wraps around my arm, securing me in place. I exhale and peer up to see Kaidan's dark brows bunched together in a worrisome expression as he looks over my injuries.

"You look like hell, Shepard."

I laugh meekly, "Alenko." I shake his grip off my arm and gyrate to find Anderson standing at the edge.

"Shepard!"

I grow confused, feeling dizzy. "Come on, David!" 

A whirring sound catches our attention as a Kodiak comes to pick up the wounded soldier and the medic. 

"I'm not coming, Nova." Anderson states as he stands at the end of the slanted run way. "You saw those men back there, there's a million more like them. They need a leader."

I shake my head weakly. "If you stay, I stay. We're in this together."

"We can't win it without help from the Council." He lowers his pistol. "We need all the species and all their ships for even a chance at defeating the Reapers. Talk to the Council, convince them to help us."

"But... they won't listen..." I wipe my forehead and my breathing becomes shallow as my head starts to pound again.

"Make them listen!" He commands. "Now go! That's order."

Laughter bursts from my chest. "I don't have to listen to you anymore, remember, Anderson?"

Anderson rummages in his pocket and pulls out a silver chain. "Consider yourself reinstated." He throws the chain at me and I catch it, peering down at the writing etched in the tags. _Why did he just have my dog tags with him?_ "Commander. You know your mission and you do have to listen to me."

I look up at him, gripping my dog tags. "I'll come back, Anderson. I'll bring the damn hanar with me also." I lower my tone, stepping back. "Good luck." 

"You too, Shepard." Anderson runs off as the Normandy backs up. 

Then another shuttle flies in for the survivors. I step back again on my pained leg and yelp as I collapse under my body's weight. 

A pair of powerful arms catch me around my waist. "I gotcha, Shepard," A gruff voice whispers in my ear filling warmth through my body. 

Throughout the people shuffling to the shuttles, I spot the boy again. He frantically looks around and then looks up at the Normandy, then immediately covers his ears as a barrage of vibrations, creaking metal, and a Reaper's scream reverberates through the air. The Reaper turns towards the shuttles, unsheathing the origin of where the beams come from. My eyes widen and my chest feels like I've been punched. The eye of the Reaper brightens with red light as the boy runs to the shuttle, he climbs on and looks directly up at me as the sliding door shuts. The shuttle lifts and hovers away, followed by the other. The hum sounds and the beam chases the shuttle, slicing right through it. 

"No!" I scream hoarsely, my eyes beginning to sting. I wiggle in Kaidan's grip and he holds me tighter, pressing his head against my hair the side of my own, he shuffles to my side and activates his omnitool. 

 _Earth, my home, that boy, Anderson, my home, my home, my home. It's being decimated and all I can do is lie here next to someone who loathes me._ A tear escapes my eye and slips down my face into my hair, my vision goes blurry again, and I gasp for air, my chest is burning. 

Dark. 


	2. Damage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohmygosh, hey guys. Sorry, I've been completely absent on writing this. I've been trying to write when I can, it's just because of the college semester is taking up my time. I really hope you enjoy and give me feedback.

I gulp down air as I bolt upright, "No!"  _The boy and the soldiers and the men._

Voices call out to me, bringing me to my senses. Hands steady me and my vision focuses on James, his thick dark eyebrows naturally scrunched into a brooding expression. The med bay's bright lights cause me to squint and I shift my butt on the hard surface of the med bed. 

"Are you alright, Commander?" James questions, retracting his large hands from my left arm and shoulder. 

I just blink at him, holding my breath.

"Nova, you can calm down. You're safe. And you need to lay down." I turn my head to my right to espy Kaidan's whisky eyes as his last words are cut by the closing of his lips. I exhale immediately and slouch a bit, feeling Kaidan's hands still hug the lumbar region of my back and my hand. 

"Are you feeling okay?" He almost whispers. 

I hang my head and breathe slowly, letting caramel hair fall loosely in front of my face.  _I should have made that boy come with me. It's my fault._ "I think so." I look up and observe James cross his muscled arms and his head bobble as he leans on one foot.

"Well, you've got a mild concussion from hitting your head I'd assume. And using your biotics didn't help that." Kaidan informs me, glancing at a glittering data pad at the edge of the bed.

I nod. "Yeah, a Reaper shredded the room in half when we were meeting the Committee and it caused an explosion, throwing me back. Then I used my biotics a couple times because I was pissed and just wanted to kill something, probably why I passed out. How long was I out?" I glance at Kaidan's hand grasping mine, then to his face and raise an eyebrow, giving an uncomfortable look. Color slightly rises up to his cheeks as he releases me. I rub the back of my neck as he continues, "Just an hour or so, adrenaline crash and blood loss. Several cuts and bruises, nothing medigel didn't fix. Cut on your arm's deep, stitched and gauzed it up. Didn't X-Ray you but I think you'll be okay." He's so cute when the medic in him comes out. _What the fuck I'm mad at him, stop it._  He reaches for the data pad and taps the hologram screen. He purses his lips and meets my gaze. "You have a nasty gash on your knee, you're lucky you didn't break your patella. But again, medigel and bandages fixed it right up. Plus gave you a dose of painkillers. Shit, I sure wish Dr. Chakwas was here, she'd probably do a better job." He chuckles nervously and his eyes train on a part of my face. He brings his hand to my cheek and presses warm fingers against it. My heart accelerates and I look away from his cleft chin, pronounced cheek bones, and cinnamon eyes.  _Why can't my thoughts be less... just less?_  "I stitched up your face too, it'll leave a small scar."

"Another one." I pull away from his hand slightly and he glowers at James slightly and nethers his hand slowly, he sits in a chair next to the bed. I run my hand down my thigh and drag my fingers along my knee, extending it effortlessly while doing so. "Thank god it's fine now, that hurt like a bitch. You didn't do too bad of a job, Major."

"How long did you walk on that?" Kaidan debriefs loudly. 

"Uh, it was after the first Reaper hit the Councils' chamber, then Anderson tried contacting you and after that, another Reaper beam hit near us. It shook the platform we were on and I fell, slamming my knee down into a grate. Then about ten minutes 'til you guys picked us, well, me up."

"Ouch." The Major drawls.

"No shit, ouch." I retort. "Am I set for duty, Doctor?" I ask eagerly, pulling up my hair into a regulation bun and avoiding his gaze still. _This used to be incredibly hard, but now I can do it without a mirror. Bad ass in combat, bad ass in regulation bun fashion._ Oh, god, I'm such an idiot. 

He sighs and taps at the data pad, "I don't think you'd listen to me even if you broke something, but you lost a lot of blood, so you need to-"

"Commander?" Joker practically bawls through the intercom.

"Joker? Is that you?" I look up at the ceiling as if he's hanging from it.

He laughs and then quiets his voice. "Alive and kicking, Shepard. But Admiral Hackett needs to speak with you ASAP, emergency transmission."

"Okay." I shoo Kaidan out of my way without looking at him and he darts out of his seat and my way quicker than I can blink.

"Wait, Commander." Kaidan demands. "No biotics, alright?"

I nod again without turning my head, circling around and heading out of the med bay.  _Whoa, talk about renovation. The whole crew deck is a bit different from when Cerberus had this ship._ I glide a hand on the cold metal that coats the skeleton of the ship, my clammy finger tips leave trails of condensation. My fingers squeak against the metal and I retract it and look around at off-duty soldiers staring at me. 

"What?"

Some of them get wide eyed and nervous, shifting in their seats at the mess table. Then a brown haired fellow, shakes his head, "Nothing, Shep- Commander Shepard. Nothing, ma'am. Good to see you back, ma'am."

I turn towards him and cross my arms. "Enough with the 'ma'am'." I shrug and continue around the corner into the elevator. The bulkhead whirs quietly open and I set the elevator for the CIC.

"Commander!" James' voice chases me.

"Yeah?" I exhale and close my eyes as he jumps through the bulkhead before it shuts.

"Where's Anderson? What do we do now? Where the hell are we going, Shepard?" The elevator purrs as it ascends and the bulkhead opens quietly again to more Alliance renovation of the CIC. I walk towards a terminal next to the galaxy map quickly, activating it.

"We're leaving. Anderson wants us to get to the Citadel, to the Council to get help." I look down at the terminal and tap a few icons.

James raises his voice. "He wouldn't order us to leave."

I throw my hand up in the air and groan, "Don't have much of a damn choice, Lieutenant. We're good as extinct without help."

"The fuck. Drop me somewhere, I'm not leaving Earth." He slams his fist into a pillar.

I whip around and point my finger at him, my tone hardening to stone. "Enough! I'd rather fucking stay and fight too. But do you honestly think that either of us getting killed by a Reaper is going to increase our chances in this fight, Vega?" I drop my hand and turn back to terminal. "We're going to the Citadel, if you wanna go back from there, good luck finding a transport that wants to fly back into the Reaper infested Sol system."

"Whatever, Shepard." I hear his boots stomp off.

Shaking my head in aggravation, I apprise Joker to patch the Admiral through. A choppy vid of Hackett shows up on the holographic screen and the movement barely makes it through as well as the audio. " _She-e-e-e-e-epard. Sustai-ained heavy losses_." The audio cuts out then continues, ". _..force was overwhelming. No way we can defeat them conventionally._ " Hackett's image shakes and contorts.

"Anderson's told me to go to the Citadel, talk to the Council." I assert firmly, running a hand down my face and rolling my eyes at the horrible connection.

" _First, I need yo-o-ou...liance outpost-t-t on Mars...we lose control of the s-s-system_."

I hold up my hand straight with my forearm bent at the elbow into a salute. "Aye, aye."

The image wavers and Hackett spits out another sentence. " _...researching...Prothean Archi-ives with....Dr. T'Soni._ "

_Liara._

" _...found a way to stop the Reapers...only way t-to stop them...contact soon. Hackett out._ " The vid closes and leaves the orange colored holographic screen of the terminal. 

I peer up at the ceiling of the CIC. "Joker, set a course for the Mars Archives, alright?"

" _Mars? Got it, Commander. ETA 20 minutes_." 

I scan the skeleton crew and turn around back to the elevator. Before I summon it, the bulkhead opens and reveals Kaidan. He looks up from his data pad and his eyebrows float to the middle of his forehead in surprise. "Nova." 

I dip my head down and up in acknowledgement. "Kaidan. Need you for a mission." I join him in the elevator and set it to take us to the Cargo Bay.  
  
"Mission? I thought-"

I wave my hand to dismiss his "thought". "Hackett wants us to go to the Mars Prothean Archives. Apparently Liara has been researched what's there and found a solution to the Reapers."

"Mars? Liara?" He questions in the same tone that Joker had. "What will we find there?"

I roll my eyes. "I dunno, Kaidan. That's why we're going there. To. Find. Out." Tension builds in the small compartment.

He scoffs. "Okay, _ma'am_." He knows I hate that,  _ma'am._ It's a completely bullshit word when he knows me the best out of anyone I know, well maybe not in the 3 years we haven't spoken much but I haven't changed much. I glare at him until his head raises from the screen. "What?"

"Nothing, _Lieutenant._ " I mock out of anger. 

Kaidan clicks his data pad off and rotates himself towards me. "Okay, you know that's not my rank. It wasn't even when we met back on Horizon."

"Yeah, well, I told you not to call me ma'am before that. Also," The bulkhead opens to the Cargo Bay and I gyrate on my heel, raising an eyebrow as I study him, "fuck Horizon."

* * *

 

Kaidan, James, and I gear up into our armor in silence. I've pissed off the only two squad mates I have in a five minute time span and I'm too shaken up about Earth, Kaidan, and getting things done in time to deal with it. Which is weird because Kaidan's a part of the _**it**_. We load up into a shuttle and James pilots.

I lean by James as Joker radios in. 

" _Been trying to reach Mars through secure channels. No one's answered._ "

"Any Reaper activity down there?" I query in a lowered voice.

" _No._ " Comes the stern reply.

"EDI?" 

" _The base is online, possibly the inhabitants were evacuated._ "

"We'll know when we get there. Joker, be ready just in case."

" _Roger that, Shepard. Normandy, out._ " 

I spin around and give Kaidan a passive aggressive side eye as I approach the shuttle hatch, my gaze connects with his, a solemn glint embedded in his irises. I begin to put on my helmet as he stands and does the same.  _I can't blame him for Horizon, he was right to not join someone he didn't believe was alive who was with an organization he didn't trust. Hell, I didn't trust Cerberus in the slightest, but not like I had a choice. By using them, I stopped the Collectors from destroying more colonies and killing thousands, maybe that doesn't justify it, but what else will. I'm so pissed because I just miss him, that's not justifiable either._

James lands us smoothly ground side and equips his helmet. " _Still no contact with anyone here, but we've got a big ass storm comin' our way._ " His voice is modulated through the comm line.

"How long 'til it hits, Lieutenant?" 

" _Half hour. Tops. After that, it's gonna be difficult to keep up comms with the Normandy, Commander._ "

The hatch opens and I pull out my M-8 rifle and jump down from the shuttle. Mars wind whistles past us, tiny particles bounce off our my helmet visor with little _dinks._

" _Holy... That_ is _a big ass storm. Looks way bigger in person._ " James curses over the comm radio.

In the distance, clouds miles long to my left and right roll over in waves as lightning escapes in streaks within the storm.

" _Eh. That's a normal storm for Mars, actually_." Kaidan comments.

Vega sniggers. " _I'm relieved you're so optimistic_."

" _The Reapers are invading Earth, the station here is down, so a little storm seems like no big deal._ "

" _Oh, wouldn't you be an interesting date._ " Vega scoffs.

My eyes widen and I burst with laughter for a second, then stifle it, quickening my step to the ladder in front of us. 

" _Glad you find me amusing, Commander_." James sounds proud, but completely oblivious as to the real reason I laughed. 

" _Goddammit_." Kaidan whispers. 

" _What?_ " James perks up. 

" _Nothing, tripped over a rock._ "

I shake my head as I jump down an Earthy-, a Mars-y ledge and come across an Alliance officer. 

" _Who's that?_ " James says flatly.

" _Alliance officer... Officer... Reeves, looks like. He didn't even put up a fight before he died._ " Kaidan answers in a regretful tone and joins us. 

Panic pangs in my chest as I spot an M-92 Mantis sniper rifle. "Shit, something's off. Stay close and quiet." I holster my M-8 onto my back and tuck the sniper into my grip.  _Reeves won't be needing this any longer._

" _Yes, ma'am._ " The Lieutenant responds quietly.

We walk down a road paved by vehicles and round the corner to find Cerberus troops. "Fuck. Cover!" 

I slide into a barrier and crouch with the M-92 gripped in my hand. I glimpse at Kaidan just to see him do the same, averting my gaze quickly and peeking at the Cerberus troopers along with a Mako. 

" _Holy shit, they're executing them_." James exclaims after a soldier pulls the trigger to an Alliance officer's head. 

"Let's return the favor." I lift myself up a bit and prop the sniper on the rail of the barrier, aiming at the executioner. As I exhale, I squeeze the trigger, sounding the echoing shot that's followed with the impact of the bullet. A wave of energy ripples throughout my body, raising the hairs on my neck and my arm, spreading goosebumps along my skin like a wildfire. My heart quickens its beats and a smile draws itself across my cheeks. The other soldiers go on the defense. Energy radiates through me as I conjure Singularity between the group and sink down behind cover again.

" _Goddammit, Shepard_." Kaidan snaps as he ducks in and out behind cover with James, gunning down the soldiers with their assault rifles. Kaidan's breath comes heavy through the comm line as he rests against their barrier, rifle at the ready. " _I told you medically you cannot use your biotics_."

I close my eyes and rest my head against the wall, my breath is labored and my head is spinning. "Just stop, Kaidan. I'm fine. I'm tougher than you think." I pant softly, jittery with exhilaration and disorientation.

" _It doesn't matter how tough you are, Shepard_." He pauses to shoot the hostiles. I squeeze my lids tight as my head spins. " _You could die if you push yourself. I know you didn't train or use your power as much as you should've in the six months you were discharged._ " 

I open my eyes and glare at him through my tinted visor. "That's all I did, it's the adrenaline and getting thrown around that got me, Alenko. What do you care?"

" _Okay. No disrespect, but shut the hell up and do your job. You two fight like a married couple_." James groans as his body vibrates from his shots. 

Kaidan and I don't speak another word and I switch to my M-8, slinging the M-92 over my shoulder. I stand up and aim the rifle at the remaining enemies, gunning them down with ease. 

" _See what happens when you put your mind to it, Commander?_ " James jabs. 

I roll my eyes. "You're on thin ice, Vega."

" _Right_."

I hurry down the slight decline with my rifle at the ready.

" _These guys Cerberus?_ " James asks intently.

"Yeah..." I validate as the wind whistles louder.

" _What are they doing on Mars?_ " Kaidan questions.

"Good question." I kick at one of their corpses as we go past them.

" _You dunno?_ " He prods with malice.

I whip around and the rifle drops violently to my side, enclosed tightly in my grip. "I'm not with them anymore and I haven't been for months."

His helmet slightly turns down to look at my gun then back up to me. " _Not what I was asking, but it's a bit convenient._ "

"Ah-" I shift on my hip and inhale sharply. 

" _Commander..._ " James imports warning in his voice. _He knows my body language and I'm prone to anger, we've been stuck with knowing each other for a bit._

I cock my head at the Lieutenant. "I'm gonna leave him here with these bodies if he keeps at it, Vega."

" _I'd like to see you do that, Nova_." Kaidan has a smirk in his voice. 

"I- Ugh!" I ball my fist and grunt at him.  _Stupid. Fucking. Dreamy. Piece. Of._ I turn around and punch the Mako. Then I grip the rifle at the ready.

" _Don't blow off his head 'til we're done with Mars, Commander._ " James requests. 

I walk away from my crew mates towards more vehicles and cargo. "I'll try."

As we approach the cargo boxes, we rush forward as we spot more Cerberus troops. Bullets rain past us and we bombard them vigorously. Kaidan flashes his biotics at the hostiles. The last man drops to the ground and James speaks up. " _They didn't come here in full force._ "

I push towards a building. My footsteps kick up Mars dust from the ground and it swirls down to the ground again. "Yeah, just a few vehicles."

" _Probably help from inside_." Kaidan notes.

"Maybe." I acknowledge quickly.  

" _Yeah_ ," he demurs, " _No one can take this facility with just a few vehicles and a couple dozen troops._ "

"Mm." A light metallic banging sounds as my boots clank against the platform to an elevator. The whistling stops as we enter the elevator shaft. I prop the gun upwards and use my free hand to program the door to close and the room to pressurize.

" _Shepard. I need a damn answer._ " Kaidan moves towards me quickly. 

I turn as he stops in front of me and I drop my weapon to my side, looking at him with no expression behind my helmet visor. "What is it, Major?"

" _Do you know anything about Cerberus being here?_ " He puffs out his chest, putting his gun on his back. 

"What makes you think I know?" I fume. 

" _You worked for them, Shepard. Why wouldn't I think that?_ " 

I inhale through my nose sharply as I watch him approach the railing of the elevator. He grabs the railing and leans against it, looking straight at the wall. 

"I used them. I worked with them because I had to, Kaidan. I didn't do it because I wanted to. I did it because I had to to take down the Collectors, that's absolutely it." I explain, placing my gun on my back.

" _There's more to it, Nova. They built you from nothing, actually genetically engineered you. They gave you a ship and resources_."

I take heavy steps towards him and lean against the railing on my right arm, but wince and retract it, reminded of the cut. "Let me be crystal clear. I got my life back and I've been spending it trying to save others. Cerberus isn't my rich daddy that made my life possible. You don't get to fucking judge me. I'm not going to apologize for getting the Normandy back, it's not Cerberus'. It's mine, I made it mine. The resources helped me take down the damn Collectors, get my crew back, make me me again, save the galaxy again. I have  _not_ had any contact with Cerberus and i have no idea why they're here."

James cuts in and defends my argument. " _Commander Shepard has been constantly monitored since returning to Earth. She in no way has had any contact with Cerberus._ "

I raspberry my lips as I exhale quietly and the angst in my stomach dissolves. 

Kaidan pushes off the rail and straightens up. " _I'm sorry, Nova. I just-_ " 

The air pressurizes blows loudly, startling me and Kaidan slightly.

I turn and walk away, pushing buttons on my helmet until it retracts back into a slot in the back of my suit and I inhale the oxygen accompanied by a metallic, stale scent. Pirouetting back, I discern Kaidan's exposed face, his cheeks slightly pink from the helmet and his hair tousled a bit. _His stupid, electrostatic, beautiful hair._

"There's no just, Kaidan. I shouldn't have to explain and prove myself to you of all people. I'm me and nothing changed that. I'm just a little synthetic." I state calmly. 

He looks away, guilt washing over his annoyed expression. 

The elevator groans and squeals upwards and I turn away from him, glancing at James' confused appearance. I shake my head and step forward a bit as the elevator comes to a halt in the vehicle bay filled with cargo and containers, greeting us with a staler smell. Kaidan and James follow behind me slowly as I step off the elevator platform. 

I stop in my steps and tilt my head to stare at Kaidan. His thick brows knit themselves in shameful indignation and his eyes are gazing forward, but he stops abruptly as he realizes I did. His gaze slowly traces my body up to my eyes. I blink and add, "I need you to trust me, Kaidan."

His eyebrows lift a bit in defense. "I do. I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

A banging above us thumps above us and I jerk my sight towards the ceiling, immediately equipping my rifle and rushing into cover behind some cargo boxes. I peek from behind the boxes and fixate on a vent where the sound is coming from. Muffled gunshots sound and bounce through the air duct, then comes banging directly around the vent opening, pushing the grated metal out. It flips out quickly and clatters onto the floor on higher ground. A white clothed Asari jumps out and down to our lower floor with two Cerberus troops on her tail. As she runs further from the scrambling soldiers, she whips around and flings a Singularity towards them. The bassy, distorted sound of the biotic power reverberates through the room. The Asari takes out a pistol and hits the attackers, emitting yelps from them. The two fall to the ground and she sashays towards them and shoots down a groaning, writhing soldier, pulling the trigger twice and twice on the other.

I furrow my brow and lower my weapon a bit.  _Is that..._  I get up from behind cover and approach her. Kaidan and James following behind. I approach her and James quickens in front of me with his rifle at the ready. 

"Whoa, James." I place my hand on the gun and lower it. His eyes flicker up to mine and the muscles in his face ripple in regard. "She's with us, soldier."

The Asari turns around and her expression softens immediately as recognition fills it. "Thank the Goddess, Shepard, you're alive. Look's like you're back in action and acquiring scars already."

I smile and take a few more steps. "Liara." I take her up in my arm and hug her briefly. 

Once we let each other go, she smiles back and clears her throat. "I was worried when the reports came in. They hit Earth hard?" Her soft, melodious voice sings. 

Kaidan pulls up next to me. "Yeah, it was hard leaving it and not being able to do anything." His words are soft and filled with distress.

Her brows move slightly, resembling empathy. "I'm so sorry, Kaidan. But why did you come here?"

I straighten up and balance myself. "Hackett's orders. Said you'd know whats going on." I take in a breath as she begins to pace. 

She smirks and tilts her head down, giving off an unintentionally alluring look in her eyes. She steps backwards and says, "I do." She whirls around and walks towards a window with her swagger. 

"Finally, some answers." James utters as we trail her.

Liara twirls around, still moving back."Maybe. I found plans for a Prothean device that could potentially wipe out the Reapers."

My breath catches in my throat.  _Stop the Reapers..._ "On Mars? In the Archives?"

"Yes, in the Prothean Archives." She gestures towards a building further away. 

I shift on my feet and looks out through the window. "Why now?" 

"Process of elimination, mixed with a bit of desperation." She sets herself on one hip and crosses her arms. "When you went-when we went through the Alpha Relay, it bought us some time, but you were put under investigation and I had to do something. Admiral Hackett knew I had to as well, so he contacted me and asked if I could use my resources as the Shadow Broker-"

"Shadow Broker?" Kaidan and James exclaim at the same time. 

We both look at them and nod. "Long story." I smile smally. Liara and I meet each other's gaze again. I hold my hand to my face with my other supporting my elbow thoughtfully and she continues. "My resources to get anything I could on stopping the Reapers. And that led me here. Hackett got me access to the Archives and kept me updated on your status. I meant to come see you, but..." She trails off with an accompanying solemn look. 

I drop my arms and shrug. "I couldn't really do much to help, I was under house arrest."

"I suppose." She turns from me and walks away a bit. "Anyways, my work paid off and the Archives has a lot of information, an overwhelming amount. I think I found what we need."

Putting my fingers to my forehead, I look out at the building of the Archives. "Too good to be true. Where is this weapon?"

"It's a device, not a weapon. Blueprint, plans for a device." 

"More than what we had a minute ago. How are we getting it?" I purse and lick my lips, letting out an elongated sigh.

She points outside again. "The Archives are across that tramway. If Cerberus didn't lock it down." 

I shake my head and stare at the tramway. "What do they want?"

James saunters towards the Asari and cocks his head in a cocky way. "They were pretty hell-bent on catching you."

She turns from him. "They're here for what we're all here for."

"Why?"

She glances at me. "The Protheans came close to defeating the Reapers, but they didn't have the time to execute the plans to destroy them."

Kaidan rushes forward. "Anything that's powerful enough to destroy them..."

I peek up at him and respond, "Is something Cerberus is definitely interested in."

His head angles down at me and I drink in his caramel irises. He opens his mouth for a second and lets it hang before saying, "Yeah."

"So it's a race to the Archives." James conveys.

Suddenly a rumbling travels through the room and a crackling sound starts. 

"Shit." I throw up my gun into my hand. "We've got company."

"Bring it on." James growls.

"Not this time. Get back to the shuttle. If Cerberus beats us to the Archives, I need you covering the exits so we have some advantage. Understood?" I jog towards the elevator pad and start tweaking with the interface, frantically looking at the door Cerberus is attempting to get through.

"But-"

My head swivels to face him. "Now, Lieutenant. We've got it cover, alright? We'll see you if this doesn't go FUBAR."

His body slumps, but he nods. "Don't die, Commander."

"I'll try."

* * *

 

We killed a few hostiles and made it to another room, searching for controls to the pedway. I found an M-4 Shruiken while Liara went through the systems and controls. The security system's been tampered with and a vid's come up.

"Who's that?" Kaidan asks. 

"That's Dr. Eva Coré, she arrived about a week ago." Liara's voice travels my way as I search for the security controls. "Any luck?"

I shake my head. "Pedway's locked."

"Alright, there's construction nearby. We can get out on the roof." A keyboard pings as Liara begins to program a bulkhead to open. 

"Let's go." I hold the Shruiken in my hands and tap at a button to secure my helmet over my head again as we approach an airlock. I open the airlock and it beeps loudly and whirs open. The wind screeches at us again and dust particles clink off my visor once again. 

" _That storm's getting close!_ " Kaidan warns over the comm line. 

We slide down a ladder and Kaidan points out moving trams and gun fire. 

"Alliance is still putting up a fight." I answer. 

" _That tram goes to the Archives, if Cerberus is across, they've reached the final security checkpoint_." Liara interjects. 

I shrug in my armor. "Then we're headed there." 

We head down a walkway and a shot transmission comes through our comm channel. " _C-c-c-c-commander. You read me-ee-e-e?_ " 

"Barely. The storm's getting closer, causing interference." 

His voice comes in garbled. " _Yeah, lost contact with the Normandy. What's y..sition?_ " The transmission is too choppy to make it out.

I start up a ladder, a pain starting in my side. "I... didn't read you, Lieutenant. Repeat?"

" _I said-_ " His words come choppy and unintelligible. 

_Silence._

"Shit." I mutter under my breath as I pull myself up to the next level from the ladder with too much force. "Ah!" I shriek and keel over, gripping my side. Sharp twinges shoots into my hip and up my chest. 

" _Nova!_ " Kaidan cries out and his feet pound on the bars of the ladder. He darts to my side and places a hand on my arm that grips my side and one on my shoulder. " _Nova, what's wrong?_ " 

" _Shepard! The storm's getting closer._ " Liara informs.

"It's already- ah!" I curl over more. "-here."

" _We need to get inside, Nova._ " Kaidan asserts. 

I squeeze my eyes shut and breathe unevenly as more pain floods my abdomen. "I know. Kaidan..." I open my eyes to him. Concern and worry flashes in his eyes and his grip trembles on my arm. 

" _We have to jump here_ ," he whispers.

"Okay." I straighten up and air wheezes into my chest sharply. I limp towards the ledge and Kaidan bolts past me, jumping over the space. He gyrates and holds on his arms at a ready position as Liara follows him. 

" _Come on, Shepard._ " He eggs on. 

I shake my head and get a running start, pushing off at the last second, flying through the air. My foot catches the edge of the other side and slips. "KAIDAN!" I scream in fear as I begin to fall from the ledge, my legs kicking, but his arms catch under mine and he pulls me up with a grunt. "Oh my god... Kaidan, I..."

He sets me against a wall and pulls up his omni tool, starting to scan the region of pain. " _Holy shit, Shepard, you've got a fractured rib or two. Moving isn't helping. You shouldn't be moving_." 

I wave my hand, dismissing his suggestion. "I'll be okay, Kaidan. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug. I guess the pulling myself up didn't help." I pull myself to my feet and drop my hand. 

" _Take it easy. Don't even think about using your biotics, Nova._ " Kaidan demands. 

" _This airlock shouldn't be open, Shepard._ " Liara inches towards it.

" _Doesn't seem like it was forced open._ " Kaidan comments as he glances at the airlock then back to me.

I shake off the pain and ready my pistol in my hands. 

" _You'd have to override security protocols._ " Liara confirms and gazes at me as I nod and move forward.

I skip down a couple steps and click on my flashlight as darkness greets me at a bulkhead. The entrance opens up to the cafeteria, railing along a surrounding walkway that circles a lower level. Ahead is a body sprawled out face down, his dark clothing and lab coat intact, skin pasty and stone like. _Mars s_ _cientists_.

" _Someone vented the air out of the room while they were still in here._ " Liara sympathizes.

"This is fucked even by Cerberus standards and I know the fucked up shit they've pulled." I walk past the body, avoiding the stools along the lip of the walkway. 

" _I'm sorry, Shepard._ " Kaidan says unexpectedly. I gaze at him as my stomach flutters, barely catching him look away from me.

I almost step on the leg of another scientist, face down also near the railing. We venture further and come across two more face down bodies, like they just dropped and suffocated until they stopped moving. A data pad lays on the floor a few feet away from a body and just before some stairs. I pick it up, switch it on, and a message pops up. 

A  _Sho D'hen_ sent a message to a  _Cameron Harrison_. "Complaining about the new Dr. Eva. Something about a last time and a few insults. Meh." I set down the data pad and go down the stairs, passing vending machines and another casualty. As we descend, window shields unveil themselves. The three of us click off our flashlights at my command as Cerberus troopers face into the darkness of the cafeteria. We duck behind an counter top island at the foot of the stairs. A comm channel comes through our radio frequency, " _Roger, Delta team out. What's our order?_ "

" _There's an Alliance team that we need to keep away from the core. Check the next room._ " Another trooper says.

"Fire." I announce and twist around, unloading my Shruiken. Glass shatters, grunts and shouts erupt from the Cerberus operatives, and bullets raspberry softly into the thin air. After a few seconds of screams and gunfire, the bodies drop to the floor and our flashlights click on again. 

Kaidan asseverates, " _Were any of these scientists friends of yours, Liara?_ "

I glance at her as she shrugs. " _I recognize some, but I was scrutinized being the only Asari here so not many tried to be friendly despite it. Spent most of my time researching, alone. Translating_."

" _What'd you discover?_ " Kaidan holds actual interest in his voice. He stands in one position face to face with Liara. 

I watch them converse back and forth, tapping my foot and ignoring the pain in my side. 

" _Clues, bits and pieces. It took centuries to conquer the Protheans. During that time, Prothean scientists and researchers were desperate to find a way to destroy the Reapers. If I translated correctly, they found a way, but didn't have enough time to get resources to construct it._

I crank my neck to the right and it cracks, catching their attention. "Ah, let's go see this plan." 

My squadmates turn their heads and Liara raises an eyebrow. "Yes, Commander." 

I nod and whirl around to jump over the broken window ledge, my boots crunch shards of glass. Straight ahead, a few stairs lead up to slightly elevated floor. To my right, a light flashes, coating the room in red. I approach it, followed by more glass crunches as Liara and Kaidan tail me. In the room sits an ammo cabinet and a medical station to the left of it. On the adjacent wall, a desk is propped up against it and is decorated with four monitor screens.

My boots fall heavily on the metal sheeted floor as I take some more steps towards the third screen. A frame of a vid is paused on a soldier, a triangular red symbol with an ! in the center watermarks it.

Liara draws closer to my side and makes her place at the keyboards. Her gloved hands press the keys. "Need to pressurize the room first." After a few more presses, oxygenated air hisses through vents and the flashing light stops. "There we go. We have access to the labs, they'll take us right to the train station."

I click the release buttons on the back of my helmet and it retreats into its slot. Fresh, purified air hits my sweaty face and I close my eyes, breathing it in.

Kaidan nears us, unhanding his rifle to his back. "Hey, there's a recording of what happened here." Referring to the vid.

I bend down and press a button to play the recorded vid.

The soldier starts rippling the image. " _Security station? Come in? We're experiencing some odd activity down here._ " Liara hits a few more buttons and the vid streams to overhead monitor. I step back and raise my head to watch. " _Security protocols kicked in, everything's locked down._ " The soldier is fussing with a keyboard on the desk as Dr. Coré walked into the view. The soldier glances at her, " _Doctor, I'll get your report as soon as-_ " The doctor lifts a pistol and shoots a soldier behind the reporting one, then does the same to him. His head smashes into the screen and knocks the camera off center, causing it to dangle. Though it reveals Eva Coré tapping vigorously on a keypad. Another vid appears, the scientists drop in the cafeteria as the security breach alarm blares.

"Guess we know how Cerberus got in." I deliver blatantly.

Kaidan sighs and exits the room, only to keep a look out at the entrance. 

Liara's body relaxes in defeat, she sulks to a chair and leans on the back of it. "I should've seen it when I met her, I was just so focused on finding a way around the Reapers..."

I inch toward her and place a hand on her back. "Finding a way to stop them is the only thing we should be focused on. This isn't your fault, Liara."

Her tentacled head raises a bit. "But what if we're wrong? What if there's inevitably no way to stop them? What if these are our final days and we're wasting them trying to solve a problem we can't fix?!" Anger accompanies her fearful tone.

I knit my brows together. "Come on, Liara."

Before I take my hand back, the Asari pushes off of the chair and turns to me, hanging her head. "I know, I shouldn't think like that." She faces me entirely, looking me in the eye. "I don't get how you do it, Shepard. You always stay so focused, even in the most dire and desperate situations."

I pause for a second, searching for an answer in my head. "I... I have so much to lose if I fail." My eyes trail to Kaidan's back. "So many people I'd lose if I fail." Kaidan's head swivels to meet my gaze. My eyes widen in surprise and tear my eyes from him, blood rushing to my cheeks.

Liara's blue lips curl slightly in amusement, but she drops the expression and crosses her arms. "I'm sorry, Shepard. That's a terrible burden."

I put a hand on her shoulder and give a small smile. "We'll stop them, Liara. And I'll be with you every step of the way."

 Doors open.


End file.
